


Gone For Good

by mattdarling



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Depression, Double Penetration, M/M, Mental Illness, Multi, Suicidal Ideation, You Have Been Warned, homesick Lance, mental breakdowns, season 4 spoilers at the end, sorry lance i still love you, this is very much based off of my mental breakdowns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2018-11-05 19:00:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11019576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattdarling/pseuds/mattdarling
Summary: Lance's breakdowns can get pretty bad. This is just one of many.Good thing his boyfriends know how to help him.





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you experience mental breakdowns differently than don't come for me. This is just how I experience it and how I chose to express it.

**I**

Where am I?

 

_ Where am I?! _

 

I don’t feel anything, I can’t feel anything. Is anyone alive? I just feel the chill of my sheets sinking under me. I’m shaking, why can’t I stop shaking.

 

I think I’m in my room? But this doesn’t look like home. My mom isn’t calling me to help her cook or my dad to round up my numerous rowdy siblings. 

 

I’m just sitting here.

 

Alone. 

 

What time is it? Who knows, there’s no windows in my room here in the castle. 

 

I don’t know how long I have been sitting here, shaking.

 

Occasionally someone knocks on the door and asks if I’m ok but I don’t answer, I don’t let them come in.

 

I can’t let them see me like this. 

 

I can’t feel my hands… I…. What’s wrong with me what’s happening to me. 

 

My breath hitches and I can feel a warm sensation running down the side of my face. 

 

_ Stop crying Lance, stop fucking crying. Get over yourself.  _

 

I can’t get up from my bed I just can’t. I can’t go out there and face them. 

 

_ Why am I here, I don’t deserve to be here. I’m not even a good pilot, they don’t even need me.  _

 

I somehow got under the covers. I don’t remember this happening.

 

My pillowcase is cold and damp now. The only thing I can hear is my heartbeat in my ears.

 

**II**

 

I open my eyes I didn’t realize I closed, and hours must have gone by because the room is overswept by darkness with the exception of a pale blue light shining from the walls. Seeing it sends a warm, plush feeling down my body, but I wouldn’t be able to explain why. 

 

But still, I am alone. Without my family, without anyone. 

 

Would they even notice if I were to just jump out of the castle boundaries and never come back? What if I “accidentally” get captured… or… or just get killed. 

 

Would they miss me? 

 

_ Would they miss me?  _ Probably not. 

 

Thoughts are short, breaths are shorter. 

 

Why am I still alive? 

 

**III**

 

I must have fallen asleep again because this time I woke up with Keith and Shiro beside me. When did they get here? I guess I’ll never know, but Keith is crouched beside me with both of his hands on one of my arms. My arms look skinnier than usual in his grip, I guess it really has been that long since I last ate.

 

We all exchange a look, they look disappointed which makes me feel worse than I do. I didn’t want to make them worry, I really don’t want this. I want to tell them to leave, to just leave me alone. 

 

_ Please leave me here to rot.  _ My mind is yelling. Their eyes grow wider and even… tear? My vision is blurring and I can’t really see them anymore. I try to blink away the tears but they keep coming, they keep coming, please stop. Don’t worry about me, please. 

 

Shiro’s mouth moves and he must be saying something but I can’t hear him, it all sounds muffled and I feel like I’m underwater. I’m trying to come back to surface but I’m drowning. 

 

My mouth goes before my mind does and when I speak, Keith and Shiro are silenced.

 

“I miss them” my voice cracks against my will and I curse under my breath. I haven’t spoken to anyone in a… while so my voice sounds raw and wrecked. 

 

They listen and I don’t know what I say but they are there. At moments I know I talk about my family in broken sentences, and dying, and… and everything. My mind runs a mile a minute and my mouth doesn’t stop. Shiro sits down beside Keith and they stay silent. They listen as I cry, and occasionally lay a hand on my bicep. 

 

I feel warmer now, I feel better. 


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so long to write this!!

**I**

 

Their moving is slow, or maybe that’s how my mind is perceiving it. A dream-like haze fogs my sight only slightly but I ignore it, they are the only ones that matter right now. Keith’s lips are latched onto my chest and stomach, peppering them to no end. Shiro occupies my lips, his mouth is warm and his kisses are soft yet powerful, much like himself. Small gasps slip from my lips and I can feel Keith grinning against my skin, I missed this. 

 

_ I miss them.  _

 

Shiro is behind me now and I can feel the cold of his galran hand exploring my torso. Keith is perched in between my thighs which he decorated with small love bites. My cock feels so good in his mouth, and my back is arched causing me to lean into Shiro’s shoulder. They hold me protectively. My attention is immediately pulled back to Keith as his ever so skilled tongue flicks against the head of my cock and I moan out for him. His pale skin is tinted a soft blue in my dimly lit bedroom and he is nothing short of beautiful. I lace my fingers in his soft raven locks and reach my left hand back to rest my hand on Shiro’s strong thigh. The noises began to slip out more consistently and in a move of embarrassment I turn my head and Shiro connects his mouth with mine, knowing instantly what I am asking for. 

 

The double sensations are amazing and as my mind clears from the breakdown I begin to want more,  _ need  _ more. I could feel Shiro hard against the crevice of my ass and Keith was started to rut against my sheets, desperately seeking friction. They are waiting for me, they want the best for me. Shiro nips my ear and whispers “Look how needy he is, rutting into the sheets like he’s a virgin schoolboy.” The last part made me let out a soft chuckle as Keith disconnected from my cock, a spider-web thin string of saliva was the only part that kept them partially together. Keith’s pupils are blown wide, full of love and lust and I can’t stop thinking about how much I missed them.

 

When I release the tension on my lower lip a small bead of blood collected at the corner. I hadn’t realized how hard I was biting my lip but I quickly lick it away and pull Keith up by his hair. I initiate the rough kiss, which is rare for me, and Keith growls into my mouth, clearly content. My grip on his hair tightens and Shiro groans behind me, almost as if he were responding for Keith. I avert my gaze to my other lover and kiss him on the cheek. 

 

A soft smile radiates from my face and it appears to be contagious. I’m happy right here with them. In all the chaos that has is happening in the world, my lovers make everything worth living for. I look between them as the only communication that is needed is within our eyes. After a few moments I break the silence “I want you both in me at once.” I blurt out and a blush is quick to rise to my cheeks. I refuse to make eye contact with either of them until Shiro speaks for the both of them, “Lance, we would love to do that for you.” His voice sounds like silk to my ears, if Shiro would do nothing but talk all day, everyday, I would be happy. 

 

**II**

 

There’s a bead of precum threatening to spill over on the head of my cock. Shiro is beautiful under me with my thighs spread on his. Keith is fingering me from behind and my breaths come out as pants mixed with soft grunts. My chest is pressed flush against Shiro’s and Keith is sitting between Shiro’s legs. The friction between Shiro’s thick cock and mine feels fan-fucking-tastic.

 

“F-fuck Keith - please!” Keith snickered wickedly behind me. Even when we’re starved from touch that fucker still takes his time to tease me. His fingers are pumping into me at a slow pace and from the look on Shiro’s eyes I can tell he wants to take control, but he waits. Keith finally gives in and arches his slender fingers right into my prostate, causing the site of Shiro to be sparkled with stars. The lewd noises dripping from my mouth bounce off the walls and my lovers moan in response.

 

“Alright Lance, you’re ready now.” I weakly pushed myself up against Shiro’s chest and lined myself up with him. In one beat I dropped myself on his cock making us both moan in need. Shiro is above average in every single way and he always feels amazing. My legs begin to feel like jello which makes bouncing on him a slight challenge but almost immediately he guides me into a steady rhythm. The slick feeling of lube is dribbling out of me and I’m met with two slick fingers at my entrance. 

 

“Ohhhhhhhh  _ fuck _ .” I moan out loud in awe. This burns but it’s exactly what I want, what I have been craving. Keiths slips in a third finger and my eyes shut “I need you, I-” I’m silenced by Shiro’s mouth as he sits up. He was waiting so patiently and now he just wants to claim, and more importantly  _ protect. _

 

When Keith finally enters me I swear I saw god in that exact moment. They’re both in me, I’m sandwiched between the two of them, and I’m so in love. Now the room is filled with our harmony of moans and skin slapping against skin. I’d feel bad if the rest of the castle could hear us but my mind is being consumed by both of them pressing against my prostate and every nerve in my body is on fire. 

 

“Never forget that I will always love you,” it took me all of my brainpower to form the sentence but there was an unknown urgency that caused me to say it.

 

My climax crashes on me like heavy waves and the last thing I see is white. 

 

**III**

 

I wake up in a cold sweat, my underwear and sheets a sticky mess.

 

I press my face into my hands when I realize what had just happened. Keith is somewhere with the Blades of Marmora and Shiro just isn’t the same as he used to be. 

 

So here I am.

 

Sitting in my bed.

 

Shaking.

 

_ Alone.  _

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> find me on [tumblr](https://mattwritesgayporn.tumblr.com)


End file.
